I seen a rainbow yesterday, but too many storms have come and gone, leaving a trace of not one God-given ray. You don’t know nothin’ ’bout this, fam! 22. Oh, wait, that was a total fluke and now I’m one hadouken (Street Fighter reference, settle down, nerds) away from selling my children. This is how the modern-day vegan was born. Memoriesīefore you heathens decided to start vajazzle-ing your muffs with it. I’d slurp those noodles, if ya know what I’m sayin.’ 17. I’m talking about types of highlights that used to be popular. It was a right of passage and we were drunk with power! 15. But after you help me out with bedtime stuff because I’m about to lose my shit. I need some love like I never needed love before… You weren’t the only creature to live off screens that I was responsible for. Those smells bring back memories of the most awkward boners while slow dancing to K-Ci and JoJo’s “All My Life” as they badly masked the scent of body odor and middle school gym.ġ1. The first time they dabbed at someone or did a Fortnite dance and asked where their iPads were, Robert Stack would have their asses on Unsolved Mysteries as proof that aliens really do exist. Now all I want to do is fart into my couch in peace. Going to MTV’s Spring Break was the ultimate fantasy when I was 12. A way to learn about anything you want without one hundred bookshelf encyclopedias? Communicating with people my age from other countries without writing a letter? Now we have the world at our fingertips, but if I can’t see the picture someone posted in the DM, I will punt my smartphone across the room. When we first heard about the internet, our minds were fucken blown.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN A MANSION WITH JTT AND OUR 5 KIDS! 7. Screw your lip kit, Kylie, Caboodle is where it’s at. The sound of dial-up internet, like Celine Dion, will go on and onnnnnn.
Prrrrr…beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beepbeep… Kids these days will never know the joy and panic of 3-way-calling, or of realizing your parents are listening in on your conversations using the other landline phone. I live la vida loca by slingshotting my bra across the room and muttering curse words into my wine while my kids use my body as a jungle gym. list of 90s memes from funny parents on the non-dial-up internet.ġ. Now, we’re knee deep in pacifier clips for actual pacifiers, our own Rugrats, and crippling student loan debt.ĭo the electric slide (boogie woogie, woogie) into a heavy dose of nostalgia with this notoriously B.I.G.
We D.A.R.E.d to spice up our lives with girl power, Lip Smackers, and platform shoes, and also to dabble in witchcraft after watching The Craft, but we did so in fuzzy sweaters and plaid skirts while reeking of CK One and sucking on our pacifier necklaces (don’t ask). Growing up in the 90s meant that we were the last to know a time before the internet, iTunes and YouTube, text messaging, and social media. The 90s were a magical time filled with glitter, neon, spandex, and blow-up furniture.
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